The other day one of my closest friends told me I was the most together person she knows and I don’t give myself enough credit for it. An absolute compliment I know, but to be honest I was left a bit speechless by it. Why? because it’s made me wonder if I’m very good at hiding what is often happening on the inside.
I’m not even really sure what being a ‘together person’ means, I would have thought it symbolises someone who has their life sorted and if that’s the case then I wouldn’t say that’s me. I’m happy with life now but I still have areas I need to sort. However maybe that is just it, the fact that I’m happy with life and myself while believing the rest will sort itself out in good time.
When I think back then compared to my past then yes I am definitely a together person now. My 20’s were spent in a toxic relationship and the first part of my 30’s was a life of stress, feeling unappreciated and drama. That then turned into a period of loneliness, depression and not having a clue where life was heading. Each time I was lucky enough to know I needed to do something to change the situation, from leaving behind a job I loved to taking time out to find me again or having the courage to get a life coach when I felt I was in a dark well and couldn’t get out. Don’t get me wrong it was difficult and took a lot of work but I’ve been able to get there.
It’s because of all this that I would never consider myself that ‘together person’, despite having a life I now like. I still get times when I’m low, when my anxiety is back or my shyness has taken over again. The difference now is that I’ve learned my coping mechanisms and I’m willing to push myself out of my comfort zone in a bid to overcome the crippling shyness that has plagued my life… well apart from when I can’t even make conversation with the guy I like because the above takes over! But I’m working on it!
Getting to a point in life where you’ve made enough changes to feel happy, calm and look forward to the future is a joy. It isn’t necessarily an easy process and I still have moments of doubt and self loathing but overall I’ve become strong, independent and laid back enough to deal with different situations and if that means I’m a together person then good.